Banana Pancakes
by Lady Penguin
Summary: ONE-SHOT. Tohru was an eternal picture of kindness and heart, but growing up she was first and foremost, a girl. Tohru centered, no pairings.


**Banana Pancakes**  
Tohru centered, no pairing implied.  
A challenge fic for 5nevers

* * *

Tohru was predictable, everyone knew this.

Shigure smiled as he thought of the bubbly girl, hair held up into pigtails, and a permanent bright smile on her pretty face. It was an eternal picture, perfect and sweet.

Shigure laid his pen down upon a half-written piece of paper. For once, he wished that everyone would know that Tohru was anything but predictable. The picture faded, brightened, was torn around the edges, and it was beautiful in that sense. Tohru was an eternal picture of kindness and heart, but growing up she was first and foremost, a girl.

Picking up his pen again, Shigure began to write.

He would never forget the first time that…

* * *

001. _Tohru cooked something so terrible that it was almost inedible._

"Oi, Tohru, what's that smell?" Kyou shouted when he came home from jogging.

"I'm making a special food for everyone!" Tohru replied when Kyou spotted her in the kitchen, whipper and bowl in hand.

"What's the special food?"Kyou wrapped a cool towel around his neck.

"It's a surprise, so please wait with everyone else outside,"Tohru said with a smile, bowing slightly.

Kyou grunted and pounded lightly on the top of her head with his fist. "It better be good."

"Unn! I will try my best!" Tohru promised.

Several minutes later, while Kyou and Yuki were in the middle of arguing about Kyou's intelligence, Tohru appeared.

"It's finished!" She exclaimed, a satisfied smile upon her face.

Shigure gave Tohru a warm smile. "What would we do without a pretty girl to cook for us?"

Tohru placed several circular, fluffy cakes on Shigure's plate. "I hope you like it; it's my first time making it."

Shigure plopped a piece in his mouth.

What happened next could only be described as a lot of coughing, choking, and near death experiences.

"Shigure-san! What's wrong?" Tohru looked at him worriedly. "Do you need some water?"

Shigure, face red and eyes bulging, said, "no! Mmmmm! Tohru-kun, this is so good! What is it?"

Torhu beamed. "Banana pancakes!"

Yuki quirked an eyebrow behind Tohru's back.

Kyou looked at the 'banana pancakes' suspiciously.

"Well…" Yuki said slowly, "if it's Honda-san's cooking, then I'm certain that it must be delicious."

With that said, he took a bite.

"Honda-san?"

"Yes, Yuki-kun?" Tohru turned to Yuki as she sat.

"These are… really good!" Yuki sputtered.

"Are they really?" Kyou cut in, smiling in amusement.

Yuki glared at the cat. "Yes. _They are._" Then, Yuki smiled. "Try some, you stupid cat."

Shigure nodded vigorously, then immediately shoved some pancakes down his yukata when Tohru's attention was turned to Kyou. "Yes, yes. Try some, Kyou. You'll love them."

Tohru turned to Shigure with a grateful smile.

"Oh, I'm full," Kyou said. "Besides, I just came back from running and… my… stomach can't take food after… running. Yeah."

"Oh, well that's okay!" Tohru exclaimed, "I'll make some more later just for you!"

Yuki clapped his hands. "So lucky you are, Kyou!"

Tohru's eyes lit up. "I know! I'll make more for everyone later!"

"No!" Shigure gasped.

Tohru turned to Shigure, surprised.

Yuki smacked Kyou with a pancake, then immediately proceeded to fling them far, far away as possible. Hopefully, he'd remember to get rid of it later.

"I mean," Shigure quickly ammended, "that Tohru-kun doesn't need to trouble herself, normal—I mean, simple foods will be fine."

"But…"

"I don't want to trouble you with special foods,"Shigure said, "do _you_, Yuki?"

Yuki shook his head, rather too quickly. "No, no! I don't want to trouble Honda-san, either."

"Well, it's quite alright," Tohru said, "I'm happy to do it!"

Kyou crossed his arms. "Well, if it makes you happy, then make a lot. We'll invite the others to come tomorrow, so they can taste your delcious banana pancakes."

Yuki and Shigure glared at him.

Kyou grinned. "Will that be okay, Tohru?"

Torhu smiled. "Yes! More banana pancakes for everyone!"

* * *

002. _Tohru got drunk and gave everyone hugs._

"Ayame, I think you have way too much drunk," Shigure said, his words coming out more incoherent than he'd like.

Yuki let out a giggle, and everyone looked at him oddly. "Yes, too much drunk."

Ayame let out a satisfied sigh. "But that's what it is all about isn't it! Drinking with my brother!"

Then, he turned to Hatori with a silly grin. "Do you see Ha-chan! Little steps! Now he's drinking with me!"

Hatori, as serious as ever, replied, "yes. I see."

But, even he couldn't contain, "I see you pee."

Then everybody burst out laughing.

Tohru looked at all of them, confused and just a little bit disturbed.

"I am beating the rat this week!" Kyou hiccuped loudly. "This week!"

Tohru picked up a small stray cup and took a curious sniff.

Her nose promptly scrunched up and wondered why anyone would want to drink such a nasty thing.

"Ha-chan! This is good stuff, where did you get it?" Ayame asked, pouring more of the wine into his cup.

"From Shigure," Hatori replied.

Tohru took a cautious sip.

"Eww," Tohru coughed.

"Mmm? What's wrong, Tohru?" Shigure asked, drawing everyone's attention to her.

"Uh…nothing!"Tohru blushed deeply.

"Drinking with a beautiful girl at the table!" Shigure exclaimed suddenly, "Now that's the life!"

Tohru breathed a sigh of relief, thinking to herself, "I'm never going to drink that again… it's so disgusting!"

---Skip to ten minutes later.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-chan!" Tohru cooed. "You are soo tall…and so…serious…heeeeeeeee."

"Who the hell let her drink?" Kyo growled.

All fingers pointed at Shigure, whose finger was pointing right at Kyo.

"Wh-what?"Shigure sputtered.

"You're the responsible adult here," Hatori said.

"And what are you!"

"I'm a guest." Hatori took a calm sip.

"Shigure, shigure, shigure…hic!" Tohru grinned.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Yuki asked, glancing at Tohru worriedly. "We should put her to bed."

"I'll do it," Kyo spoke.

"Good idea," Shigure said, "don't take advantage of her now."

Holding Tohru by the elbow, Kyo turned to glare at Shigure (though he wasn't doing such a good job since he was slightly—really—intoxicated.)

After two steps though, Tohru had other plans.

"Kyo!" Tohru exclaimed, then did a very, very bad thing.

In almost no time, Kyo's clothes had crumpled to the floor and poking through the pile was a pair of orange cat ears.

"Ohh… damn." Kyo groaned.

Tohru gave Kyo a quick pat on the head, then stared straight at Shigure.

"Uh?" Shigure looked bewildered.

Tohru grinned.

"Tohru-kun?"

"Shigure! You're so nice!" Tohru squealed, then promptly decided to glomp him.

"Run everyone!" Shigure barked.

But Tohru was fast. Yes, all 85 pounds of her latched onto Hatori's neck like there was no tomorrow. Ayame was unfortunately pulled into the hug as well.

"Tohru-kun! I'm going to need water! Water!"Hatori gasped.

Tohru decided to dunk a glass of wine on him instead.

The only one left was Yuki.

"Um. Honda-san, how about I put you to bed? Looks like you're very tired and—owmermmph!"

Tohru clapped.

"A zoo!"

Several minutes later---

"Ohhhh……naked zoo."

* * *

_003. The first time she yelled at Kyo. She stayed that way for almost a week. It happens every month now. We live in fear._

Tohru wasn't having a good day, and she didn't know why.

She had answered all the questions in class with little trouble, something that rarely happened because math class was especially difficult for her.

She had cooked a delicious breakfast for everyone, and they were all left reasonably full.

So what was wrong?

Tohru sighed and dumped her back onto the floor, kicking off her slippers. Her stomach growled.

"Why am I so hungry today?" She wondered aloud, feeling just a bit too irritated at the unwelcoming hunger.

A knock came at her door, and Kyo poked his head in.

"Ey, is lunch gonna be ready soon?"He asked.

Tohru frowned. Why couldn't he ask nicely just like everybody else? Didn't he know that she was tired?

"If you're so hungry, why don't you cook for yourself?"She asked him, hands on her hips firmly.

Kyo's eyebrows shot up. "Eh?"

"Hiff, nevermind, fine. I'll have something ready in ten minutes," she snapped, and breezed past him.

Kyo stared at empty space for several moments. "What the hell is wrong with her?"

* * *

_004._ _Tohru cursed. _

It was a nice afternoon to take a nap, and when Yuki settled down onto his bed, he smiled contentedly at the sun that filtered through.

It was such a beautiful day.

Slowly closing his eyes, Yuki felt the pull of sleep and heard the wonderful sound of silen---

"Shit!"A feminine voice screeched.

Yuki bolted right up.

Was that… was that Honda-san?

Yuki shook his head. "Must have been a nightmare. Honda-san would never curse."

"Shit, shit shit!"

Yuki looked at the door in bewilderment. Then, he pinched himself.

"Ow!" He made a mental note to not pinch himself so hard next time.

With an exasperated sigh, he dragged himself out of bed and found himself in front of the girl's door.

"Honda-san?" Yuki called softly, "are you alright?"

It was silent for a moment before he heard, "yeah, I'm okay!"

"I um… heard you…" Yuki debated whether to embarrass the poor girl or not. Oh well, curiosity wins. "You were cursing, Honda-san."

"Oh, was I?" Tohru sounded peevish, then opened the door to greet Yuki. "I'm so sorry Yuki-kun, if I've disturbed your rest!"

Yuki blushed slightly. Awkward, much?

"Ano, that's okay! As long as you're alright," Yuki said.

"I'm okay, I just had some trouble with a math problem," Tohru told him, hands gripping and bunching in her dress. "Sorry if I have troubled you."

"Honda-san, it's alright, it's no trouble at all." Yuki smiled at her gently.

Tohru smiled.

"By the way… where did you learn to say that word?" Yuki asked.

Tohru blushed.

"I uh… heard it…the other day…"

"It's alright, Honda-san, you can tell me."Yuki touched her hand lightly.

"You said it the other day when a girl tried to jump on your back," Tohru finished.

Yuki paled.

* * *

_005. Tohru discovered a great art known as pornography._

Tohru hummed delightfully as she feathered the dust off of Shigure's desk, avoiding the black and grey puffs of debris that floated in the air. It was rare for Shigure-san to let her clean his room, and everytime she passed by its open doors, Tohru would inwardly cringe. Of course it wasn't as bad as her tent… but even then, her tent tidier than Shigure-san's room.

Today, she had insisted and promptly strolled into his room to clean. It surprised everyone, even herself, because she normally wasn't that bold. But ever since _that one day_, they were rather… cautious of offending her.

Moving to a shelf of books, Tohru dusted the books' spines and was appalled at the waves of dust that puffed forward.

"Hmm," she thought to herself, "perhaps I should take the books out and clean their covers too."

With yellow-gloved hands, she plucked the first book from the shelf. Something worn and flat peeked out from where the book had lain, but the rest of it was hidden by the other books. It looked like a magazine, and when Tohru squinted to get a better look, it looked like a very old magazine.

When she had managed to pull the other books from the shelves, what she saw of the magazine was something she had never, ever imagined in her wildest dreams. Not that Tohru had any wild dreams.

She shrieked, dropping all the books and tore out of the room.

"Honda-san!" Shigure exclaimed. "What's the matter? What happened? Did you find a cockroach?""

She looked up at him, eyes widened in shock. It was too horrible to say. Too horrible. And it might embarrass Shigure-san!

"Um. Yes a cockroach!"

After paling through several sickening colors, Tohru made a mad dash towards her room. Looking after her in bewilderment, Shigure made his way slowly back into his room. There, he found that his books were scattered on the floor near his bookshelf.

Shigure felt his blood run cold.

Tohru had discovered his stash.

* * *

Shigure chuckled lightly to himself as the memories wrote themselves onto paper. Tohru would be moving away soon, and he wanted to give her something special—memories. He was proud to know the girl, knew that she was just that—a girl. Not a saint or a mother, just an extraordinary girl.

* * *

Ending note: I know Tohru is horribly out of character, but it was intended that way. For humorous purposes. Well it was funny to me. Hee. The premise of the story was to write about five things that had never happened to Tohru, so I hope I accomplised that. I hope you enjoyed it and that you'll leave a review if you did. Thanks!


End file.
